When Harry Potter discovers Fanfictions
by carissa101
Summary: Have you ever wondered what the Harry Potter characters reaction might be if they read fan fiction. Fill with cliches, crack pairings, utter silliness and more.
1. Female Harry

**Have you ever wondered how the Harry Potter Characters feel when they see fan fictions. I was bored and this idea pop into my head. I don't own anything.**

**Female Harry**

"They people do know I'm a boy right." Harry stated turning away from the screen. He was scared for life for sure.

"Why do keep pairing you with Snape, Sirius and Remus."

"Right Snape , Snape he hates my gut and I don't think he would like me any better if I was a girl. Sirius is my bloody godfather and Remus is friend of my father not to mention a werewolf." Harry ranted shaking his head in disbelief.

"Don't forget Dumbledore." Hermione pointed out. Both Ron and Harry made a face as if they were going to throw up.

"Don't remind they tried to pair an 16 year old boy turned girl with a man who is a least over a hundred."

"Love has no age boundaries." Hermione said. Harry frowned at her.

"You like that kinda of stuff don't you?" he asked her. She shrugged and turned back to the computer screen. She actually thought it was kind of cute.

"I think might just be my new favorite website." she whispered to herself as Ron and Harry walked away shaking their head and grumbling.

**I'm open to any ideas so, if you have any you can tell me. Peace out.**


	2. Darry - Draco and Harry

**Decide to post a second Chapter because the first one was so short. Nothing belongs to me. Hope you enjoy.**

"Harry do you like guys?" Hermione asked Harry as she sat down at the great table

"No." he quickly answered as her odd question brought weird looks. "Why?"

"Oh nothing really I was just wondering." she shrugged picking up her goblet.

"Does have anything to do with that odd website you always on ?" He asked eyeing his best friend suspiciously.

"Ummm well I stumbled across a something." she stated.

"What you stumble across ?" Ron asked joining in on the conversation.

"Yeah what." Harry said squinting his eyes at her.

"Well I found an adorable story which I now currently reading and wish the damn author who update. I about you and Malfoy." Hermione said. Ron looked at her in disbelief he didn't know whether be surprised that she cussed or that she was reading a story about Malfoy and Harry.

"What was it about." Harry said getting a bit agitated.

"Well it was placed in 6th year when he was crying you comfort him and then later on you feels progress. And right now I'm at the part where you you go to meet him for a midnight render…"

"Hermione I think I've heard a enough." Harry said cutting her off.

"Why the hell would I go gay for Malfoy of all people if I wanted to go I would go gay for someone who isn't any annoying prick." Harry thought.

Hermione huffed and Ron was trying to stifle the laugh that wanted to come through as he looked at Harry's horrified face.

"Hey Potty what got you panty in a twist." a voice that only belong to Malfoy asked.

"Shut up blond ferret." Harry shoot back.

"No seriously Scarhead you don't look so good." Malfoy said coming a little closer to his face.

Hermione eyes widen and a big smile spread across her face.

"It happening in really life." she whispered to herself.

Harry glared at her and pushed Malfoy out the way and stormed out the great hall.

"What a drama queen. I only asked what was wrong." Malfoy stated as he brushed past Hermione and Ron walking toward the Slytherin table.

Hermione giggled , Ron look at her as said. "Hermione I'm starting think you getting crazier than Loony Lovegood."

"Speaking of Luna I found a really cute one with you and her in it. Let me tell you about it." Hermione said. Ron turned red and got up and stormed out in the same fashion as Harry.

"What wrong with him?" Ginny asked as she sat down. Hermione smiled at her and shrugged.

**Aslo I'm open to Ideas post if you have any.**


	3. Rarry -Ron and Harry

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter and if I did I wouldn't be writing fan fiction.**

"Oh merlin's beard that was really steamy." Ginny said blushing and out of breath.

"Yeah, that was great." Hermione added. She was out of breath and blushing

"Hey Hermione, Ginny what you two doing?" Ron asked coming up behind them. "And why are you two so red?"

"No reason." they both answered in unison.

"Oh really what are you looking at?" he asked eyeing the suspiciously. Girls don't read Naughty Witch Monthly. Right?

"Nothing you want to know." they said in unison again.

"No really let me see." Ron said.

Hermione looked at Ginny who looked back at her and smiled.

"Fine take a look ,but don't say we didn't warn you." Hermione said handing him her Iphone.

Ron's eyes bulged out of his head, he didn't turn red but purple with rage.

"Bloody Hell, who wrote this!" he yelled looking at the giggling girl.

"Hey Ron what's wrong?" Harry asked approaching his angry friend.

Ron didn't answer him but instead handed him Hermione's phone. The girls stop their giggling waiting to see Harry's expression. After a few minute you saw Harry's fear ear to ear red.

"Who sodding wrote this?" Harry asked as he eyes flashing in between Hermione and Ginny who were trying to stifle their laughs.

"So far I've snogged Snape, my godfather, our former D.A teacher and Dumbledore silly while having a fanny and went gay for Malfoy. NOW, NOW, I'M SNAGGING MY BESTFRIEND IN THE BOYS DORMITORY." Harry exploded. Bring a little to much attention to himself in the common room.

"Harry calm down it's not real." Ginny said in between her laughs. Harry glared at her making her laugh even more. Leave to Ron and Harry to take to a whole new level. They are overreacting over a story written by a hormonal teenage girl.

"No why can't these people understand I am a boy so I don't have a fanny and hell would have to freeze first before you caught me snogging or shagging a guy." Harry said.

"Yeah me too. There is nothing going on with me and Loony Lovegood." Ron added.

"There fanfction about me and Ginny making out and you don't see us overreacting." Hermione said with a grin.

"Well you're girls so it different." Ron replied.

"How?" Ginny asked puzzled at his conclusion.

"Well everyone likes to see a good snogging between to hot girls." Dean Thomas jumped in.

"Yeah what Dean said." Ron said. The girls shook their heads.

"Matter of fact I would love it see you too snog." Dean said wiggling his eyebrows at Hermione and Ginny. They just looked at each other with a knowing smile. If only the buys knew what went on in the girl's dormitories.

**I hope you enjoyed this In got the idea from Therealsmsblack and I think I'll do her second suggestions later. If you like follow,favorite, and review. And if you have any ideas don't be afraid to tell me.**


	4. Draco the Mudblood Lover

**Unless my name is J.K Rowling I don't own Harry Potter.**

**Draco the Mudblood Lover**

_"Draco, Draco, Draco." Pansy repeated. "Drakie poop why aren't you paying any attention to me." Pansy pouted making her look even more pug faced. Draco was pay no attention to the annoying clingy girl who insisted on telling everyone she was his girlfriend , instead his eye were locked dead on Hermione Granger. Draco didn't know why but all of a sudden his felt attracted to the mudblood. Her smell, her smile everything about her just drew him in. He knew what he was doing would make his father Avada Kedavra him on the spot without a second though. It did help his growing temptation that he and Hermione were both Head Boy and Head Girl. He knew Hermione would get the job but him he thought a Ravenclaw would be suited. After all he did help kill Dumbledore and the whole school knew he was a former Derath Eater so why the hell they chose him of all people he would never know. Another thing is that just yesterday he found out he was a veela. Him a veela. He thought only female were veelas both he broke all of law of science and nature. _

_ Madame Promfy told him that he would feel very well um horny this spring and because of the homophones he was given off both girls and boy a like will be throwing themselves at him. Hence explains why Pansy hands were trying to unzip his pants._

_"Pansy get you filthy hands off my zipper." Draco said coldly turning to Pansy who gave him a look of surprise. "But Draco." she protested._

_"No." He said firmly getting up on his feet and making his way towards his dorm. On his way there his swore he saw Hermione glance at him. Not with the usually hate but something else. _

* * *

_Hermione Granger , Princess of Gryffindor, the only female in the golden trio , was in love. Who was she in love with. The very devil himself , the bane of her exist, the self proclaimed Slytherin Prince, Draco Malfoy. When did she start this crush she didn't know but since they been sharing and dorm together she cont help but lust over him constantly. She wanted to lick his abs that she could she through his shirt if she was staring really hard. She wanted to pounce on him everytims she saw him but she fought hard to restrains herself. Hermione knew that what she was doing was wrong very wrong. He was a Pureblood Git that made fun her everytime he got the chance plus he was a FORMER DEATH EATER , LET'S REPEAT THIS PEOPLE PROUD PUREBLOOD DEATH EATER. _

_'Hermione, Hermione." she heard he name being called._

_"ummmm yes?" _

_"We asked how is living Malfoy going?" Harry said looking at his friend with a worried looked. She never zoned out._

_"Fine I guess I barely ever see him." she answerd._

_"I still don't understand why the hell they picked him of all the people him." Ron ranted._

_Hermione head turned to the door that Draco not to long ago walked out of. She bit her lip. " Ummm I have to go study so I'll talk to you guys later." she said as she got up from her seat._

_"Oh good Hermione I'll come too I need some help too." Ron said jumping up too._

_"No." Hermione practically yell. Everyone shot her a "what up with you look." "Ummm I mean no because I just what some a lone time. I'll study with you later I promise."_

_"Oh OK." Rom said sounding a bit disappointed. He wanted some alone time with Hermione so they could talk about their relationship because it seemed like she was drawing away from him and their friends._

_Hermione gave Ron a weak smiled before departing to the door. Her head was spinning as she walked toward the Head Dorms. Suddenly she felt a hand grab her and pulled her into a dark corridor. She gave out a weak yelp before a hand clamped down on her mouth. Hermione body was shaking, she couldn't see who the attack was._

_"Shhh."they whisper in a rough tone._

_Hermione raised her knee to hit them in the groins when they person let go of her and uncover her mouth ans stepped under a dim lite lamp. "Hermione it's me Draco." At the sound of his name Hermione eyes wide, because it was indeed Draco Malfoy. _

_"Draco wha.."but she was cut off with a rough kiss to the lips. Hermione felt a fire blaze in her stomach as she kissed him back and he cupped he cheeks. He broke off the kiss leaving Hermione heaving and feeling a tinge of sadness that he lips left her's._

_"Hermione let me expla..." But he too was cut off to a kiss. Her kiss was passionate and demanding. He then decide to take the lead slipping his tongue through the slight gap in her lips to enter her mouth. He heard her groan , which only egged him on more. She tasted so good he couldn't get a enough. _

_This time a Hermione broke the kiss to say "Draco I think I'm in love with you." Draco heart beat highed at her words. She had feelings for him the Death Eater._

_"Hermione I think I'm in love with you too." Draco replied to her watching her eye wide a his declaration of love. "You not just a mudblood to me anymore. You are a beautiful, smart, and kind hearted girl who stole my heart." Now his veela hormones were kicking in full speed he need to sooth them now. So he pulled Hermione to him and whispered in her ear. _

_" You want to take this a little farther in the dorm room?" he asked in a low seductive voice. He didn't wait for her to reply, he pulled her up and draped her over his shoulder and enter the dorms rooms._

* * *

"Oh My Snape's dirty grandma drawers." Hermione shut up." a Lavender Brown said throwing a pillow at Hermione bed.

"What?" Hermione asked.

"You been keeping us up all night with you awkward moaning and groaning. What the hell are you doing with that muggle contraction ?" Lavender replied.

"Oh sorry." Hermione said blushing. She didn't think she was that into the story. " I'll be quiet."

Lavender didn't answer her but Hermione swore she heard her grumble something about muggleborn weirdo.

Hermione didn't ponder on this instead she glued her eyes to her phone screen.

* * *

**I got this idea from two guest review. So I h****ope you guys ****enjoyed. Favorite, follow and review. If you have an idea don't be afraid to tell me. **


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